I guess I could say a little more about my feelings on coming out to my parents.
My parents and I aren't close. They love me very much, but I have trouble saying the same.
Part of the reason is that the person they love isn't me. Trans has something to do with it, but also so much more. Every aspect of who I am, I don't know if they've ever seen it, or even realized they haven't. And I've been burnt every time I've tried.
Because I'm neither financially not emotionally reliant on them, I actually find myself hoping that they'll never want to talk to me again. I won't have to feel so guilty about not keeping touch, about our collective failure to be closer to each other.
Another outcome is this honesty about who I am somehow breaks the dam of all our failures to communicate, and this is the point at which we can start to actually build a good relationship with each other. Maybe I get some honesty in return and we can finally have a relationship that's more than obligation and awkwardness.
But the third option, and unfortunately I think the most likely, is a lukewarm acceptance with no understanding of desire to understand. They continue to contact me out of obligation and not wanting to lose their “daughter” and I continue to fret about why I can't be a good child. And all this letter accomplishes is putting another huge unsaid thing between us.