One of the nice things to come out of the mostly awful conversation was that at least I understand why I keep thinking I should just be male instead of nonbinary.
Saying I'm male is absolute in a way that saying nonbinary is not. There is room for doubt in both but so much more in nonbinary. And I wanted to say male to minimize that doubt—-that vulnerability.
To tell my parents the truth about being nonbinary instead of the easier lie of saying male took trust and vulnerability. And they used that to make me doubt myself, to shore up their own fear of change. To convince themselves that what I want isn't real.
So the good thing to come out of this is now I understand where that urge to say male instead of nonbinary comes from. And when I feel that panic of people not taking me seriously I know it comes from my parents and not necessarily everyone.